In January 2018, I started dating, and you can read about how that came about in this post here, and it felt like an opportune time to give a little update.
Well, after going on the first date back in January, we had a second, a third, a fourth etc and it has generally snowballed into us having a really happy, stable relationship. Whilst 6 months seems a long time to be dating, in some respects it feels like early days still because it isn’t like we are seeing each other every day and spending every waking hour with each other.
The priority for both of us is our respective children, and nothing will change that. Kim has a now 2 year old boy and given that Heidi is also a single child, we are mindful of how well they interact with each other, with each of us together and each of us separately.
With Oscar being a bit younger, we felt that it was easier to get him involved into the changing dynamic to start with. As Heidi was 4 at the time, we took things much, much slower with her, (and we still are) basically saying that Kim was just a few friend and it was good to hang out together at certain points.
We try to make sure we don’t overdo the interactions as well, knowing that there is no rush to any of this and the last thing we want is to have children not wanting to see each other or see each of us.
All of this has meant that the children get on really well together and are seemingly best of friends. Oscar looks up to Heidi so much and gets really excited when her name is mentioned and Heidi looks after Oscar so much, whilst also enjoying playing with all his toys as well!!
As both of us are clearly very involved with our children, most “dates” tend to involve either one or both of the children on a weekend. As such, if you’re a regular reader of the blog on on Instagram/Twitter, chances are you’ve read about where we have been on a date with the children.
As the children enjoy each other’s company, it makes going out on trips a lot easier, although they can get too giddy and get carried away a little – however, that can happen when they are on their own! The fact that we don’t get child-free weekends too often doesn’t affect us (apart from early morning wake ups!) as we both knew the childcare arrangements before we even met.
However, if we do have a child free weekend, or even just a day, we try our best to make the most of it. We had our first (and only!) weekend away in April, to London, which was lovely, but also extremely strange to spend child free time with someone else! However, it was a brillainttime and we tried our best to see as much as possible, just as if we had the children.
There are times when dates have had to be cancelled at the last minute because of childcare arrangements. Even this week, Heidi wanted to stay at mine even though she was supposed to be with her mum, which meant a quick dash home from date night. It happens, but the pair of us knew all of this before we started, and we both know that the children come first – that is the main thing to both of us.
Who knows what the future might hold going forward. The relationship is still in its early days, but it feels as though it is stable and has excellent foundations. We always said that the children come first and that is more true than ever and if truth be told, they are the ones who will decide how far the relationship goes. If either one is unhappy with it, then the relationship doesn’t go any further, and we are ok with that.
Fingers crossed it that is a bridge we never have to cross…
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